Recent Comments

2/11/22, 3:31 PM
Welcome back! You're one of my favorite authors as well. For a quick draft this is pretty perfect.
2/11/22, 9:26 AM
Wonderfully written, a hidden gem indeed! "Sad" is a tag I tend to avoid, personally, but the ending leaves some room for hope. Vivid in its imagery and powerful with emotion.

2/11/22, 1:19 PM
Thanks for the thoughtful feedback @Norismo! I was on the fence about using the 'sad' tag, and just added a 'hopeful' tag to try and better convey what's going on here.
Anonymous
2/11/22, 10:41 AM
You are one of my favorite writer on this site. Amazing work.
2/11/22, 9:40 AM
Amazing as always
Jack
2/11/22, 12:25 AM
Please tell me you guys are going to do more with this series! It's fantastic and I really want to see if this relationship progresses.
2/10/22, 10:39 PM
I am not much for spandex so I nearly didn't read this. But I am happy that I did. It is a great story.
2/7/22, 3:47 AM
My friend, I am a three time Cancer patient. I'm not well now and I reflect on my past loves; my past aspirations and my unspoken desires and this echoes them all. I want a clear cut finish. I want completion and the end of the speculation. I am Yarifandeddy (an e.e. cummings reference), in my mind. Your story spoke to me so specifically that I'm moved emotionally. I wish, for your characters the closure I cant or wont have. In my mind, that makes you a very powerful writer.

2/7/22, 7:53 AM
@Stroppy Author First off, mate. Thank you for sharing. I'm quite a bit floored by your post and your situation kinda puts my own angst writing this, to task (there's been tossing, turning, self reflection, appeals for input, uncertainty, insomnia, stuck in the character's heads) but that all seems petty and insignificant compared to cancer survival and life reflection; **Thank you** for being on the journey with me. I promise neither of them are 'shallow inserts' but, I've been both—and have fallen for— 'the Yarif' and 'the Eddy' in my day, and neither position is more enviable or pleasant. In the end, I let their final conversation just be 'them'. I gave them the situation, begun with "hello asshole" and then let them go at it unencumbered by 'a story' or 'an author' any further. My thoughts on the ending and clarity; Yarif declares his love for Eddy goes beyond his stemmed-from-trauma people-prejudice. He declares*to* 'Eddy-the-Person' to *spite* Eddy-the-Person without being aware of the sudden bright irony and affirmation this hits home with. ("I'd love him even if he *was* a person., so there! you horrible *person*" etc.) He declares his 'love of the woods, to spite the trees'. I did have some guilty pleasure in the fact poor Eddy —probably on his last brain cell that 'could even'— was given some absolution *finally*, in such a "shave an a haircut; two bits" declaration. but, after all his graft, they got to somewhere they can build on truth rather then artifice, so long as the love is stronger than the pain and bruises it took to get there. I *know* they can get there now. I just don't know how long it's gonna take, so it seemed insincere to tie down a timeframe. I'm free to DM on our GSS discord or, on the GKS site forum if you want to have a more conversational exchange about it. Massive hugs and love. tDS

2/9/22, 3:59 AM
@The Dirty Spiders Unfortunately, I can't get into Discord. If Martin will allow, he can give you my email. I'll be going in to the hospital again this week so prolly no response for a week at least but you're more than welcome to it

2/10/22, 10:01 PM
@Stroppy Author Contact sent, and please mind yourself friend.
2/10/22, 5:12 PM
Wow! I know I gave you comments for this story in private, but I regret that I didn't also post them here. I hunted them down, though: "Ahhh, Noam, what a tender and lovely story! So sensual and full of longing! I love how you matched the action to the poem and you manage to do so much vivid texturing of the world in do little time. Thank you so much for the lovely gift!" What I love about about this story really is the sense of yearning and the way that I can imagine exactly how this all went down. So bittersweet.

2/10/22, 5:32 PM
Thank yoouuu, @time.to.occur! It was fun to write this for you and discover a writing gear I didn't know I had.
2/10/22, 3:40 PM
I would love to see hala next

2/10/22, 4:55 PM
@darkblade2814 Can do! I think I know how it will go but I'm always open to suggestions.
2/10/22, 3:07 PM
This is so sweet and heart-breaking, and I’m glad you didn’t shy away from the pain and reality of their historical situation. I really enjoyed the descriptive writing—this is the kind of thing I’m glad to see on Cupid!

2/10/22, 3:46 PM
Thank you, @Soren Fitz! I owe a lot to Emily Dickonson for inspiring this, and to time.to.occur for providing ED's work as a prompt to begin with. I'm really glad what I was trying to do came across for you.
2/9/22, 1:28 PM
This is equal parts scorching hot, intimate, and a little heartbreaking! Well done, guys!

2/9/22, 3:22 PM
That was the goal! It was a whole mess of lust and emotions all tangled up, and it was really fun to work with Josh to thread those things through the story. I'm glad it hit. @Dace
Martin
2/8/22, 9:53 PM
I'm a late reader of this chapter... but I have to chime in to add my praises. This chapter is a lot of exposition, but man how much fantasy and creativity is there inside of you. I wonder where you get this from. What it must be looking like inside of your head. Anyway, I'm looking forward to read the final chapter!

2/9/22, 1:13 AM
@Martin Thank you Cap'n, and I appreciate you reading this even though it's not your normal material.
Martin
2/8/22, 10:04 PM
Such a bitter-sweet story. Forbidden love indeed, and it always invokes anger that people had (and still have) to suffer this. Thank you for this great experience. 5/5 for writing and romance.

2/9/22, 1:05 AM
Thanks, @Martin! I appreciate the feedback :)
2/8/22, 3:19 AM
Absman, you have an uncanny gift of creating an epic narrative. You aren't just telling a story, you are building a universe. And it's a universe that readers, such as myself, will want to visit again and again. What makes you great is you haven't just done this once, but you achieve this again and again. I will never tire in seeing what you're pervy mind writes next. My only frustration is that I so desperately want to visit your world for real. Can I please?

2/8/22, 12:04 PM
@rubbrsome From you, this means everything to my heart. What I like about this universe is there's no evil corporation or some deranged scientist bent on revenge. It's a bunch of misplaced mythological creatures who only have to deal with the foibles of their own gods . I'm not saying this to toot my own horn, but these characters write themselves -- they inform me what's next. Their group scenes are effortless and fun to write, their dynamic is so strong. (There's one here in chap 2 at the fight) I would also choose to live in this story.
2/8/22, 6:59 AM
What a great series so far. Really enjoying the mental changes to the bachelor party and discovering they weren't all straight to start with
Martin
2/7/22, 10:27 PM
Wow, such an amazing and heart breaking story. It's a gem on this site!

2/8/22, 12:38 AM
@Martin Wow...I about died reading that!!
Martin
2/7/22, 8:48 PM
Your writing is amazing. So lively. I wish I could write anywhere as good as you. Are you sure you've got the right job? You should be a writer, not a singer. I mean it! This story is very pleasant to read, but of course it's no wanking story at all. Like so many of your stories it's so absolutely fantastic (in the original sense of the word) and special that one can just wonder where you get your ideas from. One thing: Eddy is so very bold. Can you imagine yourself kissing a monster in that situation? Or did he have a thing for monsters all along and just didn't realize it? And his hormones just took over? If I put a normal (young, hapless) man in the position of the monster, I can't see myself doing any of what Eddy did... But ok, he just must be very open and impulsive, right? 😜

2/7/22, 9:43 PM
@Martin Hehe… Boy, I sure hope this story carries on as a fluffy silly tale about infatuation, and not an insurmountable moral knot that is gonna keep it’s author sleepless for about three weeks. I didn’t go into Eddy’s motivations in the writing, (décision artistique, merci beaucoup) but I believe Yarif brought these impulsion out in him. Yarif makes him feel happy, impulsive, in the moment, and that was one of the first big attractions for Eddy, and why he later struggles to glean if he loves him, or if Yarif is simply overloading his otherwise “fine I suppose” life, with happy, silly, impulsive life-living life.
2/7/22, 5:41 AM
An acceptable ending. There did not seem to be much the two could do to overcome their differences. It was a very believable ending. Real life rarely ends with magic spells fixing everything and this story did not either. I can relate to the storyline. I feel I am always just outside of other people's lives; looking in and wondering why I never seem to belong. I do have friends in my life and I can appreciate their happiness but companionship has always escaped me. I'll be honest and say I don't actively look for someone. I guess I just hope for a guy to just appear as if by magic at my door. It is not going to happen but I don't see myself finding anyone in any other way. A simpler way of saying it is confidence is sexy and I am plagued by self doubt. My inner self is hidden from most as if in a costume. It is one I have slowly crafted through years of interaction with people. It is not fake but merely an understanding that most people in your life are not interested in who a person truly is. They want lighter fare like talk of the weather or minor annoyances. I am unsure if I am a monster expecting people to care more or they are the monsters for not wanting deep explorations of interpersonal life. [feel free to delete this if it seems too personal.]

2/7/22, 8:13 AM
@Cutlerfan Delete!? You must be kidding, on the contrary, thank you for *being* personal. It's reading responses like this that make the effort and agonizing worth while.

Martin
2/7/22, 10:59 AM
@Cutlerfan I think the amount of people spending their life in involuntary solitude is way bigger than we know. So many people have problems reaching out to others, they are afraid of rejection, that they're not good or sexy enough, that they're too inexperienced and so on. I guess if everyone could look into the head of other people and realize, that so many people share the same problems as we do, it wouldn't be that difficult ... But we only see the bold and loud people, they dominate our daily lives and they're what we compare our attributes with.

2/7/22, 3:13 PM
@The Dirty Spiders I'm glad you like it. Your story really reached me.

2/7/22, 3:18 PM
@Martin I agree. I’ve always felt on the outside to degree but it is, at times, a unique vantage point to see society with most of the facades absent.

2/7/22, 6:56 PM
@Martin Thank you for joining in Cap'n. Now you're gonna have to read the WHOLE saga and rate and review it!!
2/7/22, 1:09 AM
This. Story. Is. Amazing. An incredible concept that is beautifully executed. I loved Jake's manner of telling the story and am SO grateful for the happy ending. Awesome job!

2/7/22, 1:59 AM
@Hypnoguy67 Aww thank you so much for saying so!
2/6/22, 9:50 PM
Feels more a heartfelt fantasy story as to porn, though plenty of romantic activities. You once compared this Henda the Weirdo. I can understand meaning. A slight prick of a character more overcoming complex issues experiencing a heartfelt meeting tying into alternate life. It just runs into problem perspective character is tailor made for me to dislike and continuous But in a good way. He isn't a lame self insert. VERY specific and has motives and if not goals habits and interests. But means if not like him or against...man there is no escape. Of course this where the more unstable Yarif enters. If i had to compare him to anyone, its a prototype version of Grizzly from We Bare Bears. Jovial, eager, traumatized, friendly, and just a little ...profoundly dangerous. This was rapidly softened as the show went on but even in pilot he slashed a kid while flinching from calls to the cops. Finally the world building. Not super original, but fun and pleasant enough. It does its job not to, aside where intended, strain the fluffy feelings. Not my thing, due to personal preference. But a nice pleasant experience Honestly feel should be on other venue

2/7/22, 1:06 AM
@Darmani Wowee. Thank you for the substantial feedback. Holy Moly. I agree with most of this, and thank you for being honest about what is and is not 'your thing'. One thing I'll defend is, this is primarily a Gay**Cupid**Story. It is more romance and love then sex/porn/fetish, but then, it was always going to be (if you get me). The reason for also posting on GaySpiral, was, I guess tradition; it's where all the rest of my work is. As time goes on, I'll probably deal with this multi-site business ever better, but for the time being yes, it is a little weak on the sex for a GSS also-ran. Thanks for reading and thanks for the substantial feedback. Really mate; above and beyond. Peace and hugs. tDS.
2/6/22, 9:21 PM
I must admit. I don't kniw what it us. The britishness the attitude his neediness...yeah i don't like the guy. How did wizard mayor not sock him to death, or muteness. His reaction and engagement on learning Yarif's story makes me disgusted Also reminding too much of CW teen drama.
2/6/22, 5:17 PM
Oh my. Didn't cry just once but multiple times. For me, a good emotional cartharsis beats a wank anytime. Bravo for an excellent story!!

2/6/22, 6:53 PM
@nycboot thank you so much, that means a lot! Made my boyfriend cry too!
2/6/22, 12:55 PM
I really hope there is more.

2/6/22, 4:36 PM
@Cutlerfan Spell checking and proof reading the finale as we speak!
2/6/22, 4:06 PM
Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.
2/6/22, 2:58 PM
I originally wrote this to be entered in the Turnabout Challenge, but after spending three days trying to enter with no luck, I figured I'd just post it. A couple things about this up front: I know it's long and I didn't write this as wank material. Forgive me for that. I wanted to write about the characters and explore the theme of undying love with sexual elements. The other thing was, I made this story self-contained. In the beginning, this was a three chapter project exploring Jake watching Quinton grow up physically while he's stuck as a ghost, unchanging physically, emotionally, but not spiritually. He was telling this story to someone, and it the big mystery of the piece, but I cut it. At the very end, he gets reincarnated as Quinton's son for Quinton and his new husband. I changed that for the competition, but that didn't pan out, so I figured I'd tell someone so the burden of the untold story didn't (cough, cough) haunt me. Thanks for reading!

Martin
2/6/22, 3:54 PM
@The Story's Author (hidden) I've added the story to the challenge. As I've written in today's newsflash, it was a bug that kept people from being able to add stories to the challenge. That bug is fixed now. Sorry and I hope you're fine with this!
2/6/22, 12:50 AM
Great story and I'm really looking forward to next installment with the other soldier. Would love a role play scene eventually with Marco as the commander before the series ends! Too early now but just wanted to mention it.
2/5/22, 11:46 PM
Good start. Looking forward to more.

Jonanator
2/5/22, 11:55 PM
@Beaner thanks. I'll probably post the next chapter either later, or tomorrow, when my laptop stops being stupid (it's always giving trouble) so stay tuned 🙂
2/4/22, 5:32 AM
That was heartbreaking. I don't think I've ever been so caught up in a story on this site. I love what others have written but the humanity and inequity in this is touching. I hope for my own sense of peace, that they find a way to be together

2/4/22, 7:01 AM
@Stroppy Author. Thanks for commenting, and thanks for being on the journey with them. Ehh... I want that for them, but, it's very hard to find a fix. I've just uploaded so I'm currently in Eddy's brain trying to handle things; perhaps scheme, perhaps flip out. I've got about three scraps of half chances, and maybe Eddy confronting The Mayor again? its gonna get worse before it gets better I think. I'm also thinking the next chapter will be double-length and final.

2/5/22, 3:44 AM
@The Dirty Spiders Email me if you want to brainstorm. I think I'm attracted to how well you captured the innocence of Yarif, and his vulnerability. And Eddies self reflection is so genuinely paced. There are so many humanistic features to this and so well done.

2/5/22, 1:30 PM
@Stroppy Author If I emailed you a draft script of all but the final scene, would you give me a rundown of how you think the story would realistically resolve, versus how you would like to see it resolve? I've never done this before, but I think I need outside insight. You would of course be spoiling the entire story finale for yourself.
Dec 18, 2021
2/5/22, 7:09 AM
Well I enjoyed it!
2/3/22, 8:59 PM
Not gonna lie, this story is hot, but once you described the Prime Minister, I think I recognized him and that was a weird feeling. Your story writing and the hypnosis is very good, but I just couldn't continue to be aroused by it, once his face was there. But that's different tastes I suppose. (Since I have to know to sate my curiosity if I'm right... does the PMs name sound similiar to Furtz?)

2/4/22, 8:21 PM
@Anonym Interesting ... I had the opposite reaction. Your hint enabled me to figure out who this was, and once I googled some pics, I was much more into the story! :-)

2/5/22, 12:16 AM
@Retrofantasia just to close to home for me I suppose. I dislike him in general and wasn't expecting to see a local politician here. But it'd be boring if everyone likes the same stuff. I'm glad my comment made you enjoy the story more

2/5/22, 5:35 AM
@Anonym i guess the mistery has been solved! i usually don't write about celebs etc. but first time i saw him i imagined doing to him what i wrote about. sorry to hear that you couldn't be aroused by the story!