Really enjoying this story so far! I like the worldbuilding and the ties to some of the other Priapus lore that’s been developped in other stories on the site. Ariel and Raavi have a very sweet (and hot) connection, and Talley seems like a fun little mischief-maker. There’s some meta stuff and definition/exposition in here about different roles that I think is necessary but that comes across as a bit of an info dump rather than fitting quite as organically in the story, but I understand why its there. Great work! I’m looking forward to more!
I’m glad you noticed the Priapist connection! More on that as time goes on.
Where did you see those bits? I’d love to do some edits to correct them. I think I intended to change them but forgot. Would you say that the times when I describe (1) the effect of secondhand Firecracker cum on those who swallow it and (1) the role of Sirens are most inorganic? Are there any others?
Thanks so much for this praise! I’m glad you’re enjoying it. @time.to.occur
I just published an update to several portions—the effect of secondhand cum, the role of Sirens, street showers (just removed the entire redundant exposition point there) and when Ariel describes how he came into being a Firecracker toward the beginning with Raavi. If you have the time, please let me know if it flows better, but no worries either way! @time.to.occur
@Soren Fitz Those were exactly the parts that had stood out to me, and I think you’ve done a great job of keeping the information in while letting the reader connect those last dots!
Just found the series, and started with the final chapter, as one does. Then read through all the previous ones. Great work! Love the team in their slutty uniforms.
@TickledPink Means a lot coming from one of my favorite writers!
@Jack Milligan well thank you, that’s great to hear. And I’m looking forward to seeing where you take the swim team. Hopefully they realise that the freedom of being dressed in a skimpy speedo shouldn’t just be restricted to the pool, they can be scantily clad sluts anywhere!
Keep it up!
Definitely looking forward to reading more of this one! Great setup and interesting premise!
Love the way you ended things with the rugby team. plus the epilogue at the end makes me hope you have something in mind for a new story involving the swim team.
@Redcoma100 I wanted to leave it open but I don’t have anything that would make it unique enough yet. If anyone has any ideas feel free to send them my way!
As much as I low-key like the idea of Whit getting this “ultimate power” idea conceptually - i love where this is going and cant wait to see more!
could make for a good inflection point with two alternate outcomes…
Oooh, this looks fun. You painted two morally gray characters (during the first scenes, I found myself asking “Who exactly am I rooting for here?”). The magic is a fun twist, and I especially love the induction! I have a thing for classic inductions and guys getting sleeeeepy. ;D Amazing stuff!
I definitely like the whole movie screen hypnosis; I’ve been wanting to do something akin to the “Fantascreen” episode of the Silverhawks for a while. Let me know if it would be ok to use that whole movie screen hypno in my work.
@New Guy in Town. Of course, you can. No need to even ask!
My boyssssssss!!! Ugh they’re just so sweet and cute together, but this was fucking hot too. Loved the double bellies, and good job teaching Isaac that switches have more fun! Your descriptions are so great, with the right balance of realism and kink.
Eager for those epilogue stories, but also eager for Halloween Hunt. I know it’s gonna be good.
Thank you so much for this hot fapping session!
Now that’s some praise that makes my day. I’m glad it was hot… and useful! =P @Martin
I’m interested in how the story originally went. There wasn’t a lot of build up to the old man, and the story speed up this chapter. It was still very good and creative, but definitively feel like changes were made during writing (that happens to me all the time).
@BobbyBlobfish Honestly, my hope was that the audience would respond with opinions and things they’d like to see so I could spend longer on the conversions and showcase a variety of transformations. Which was silly in retrospect. I didn’t have the imagination to successfully populate the story with unique kinks and conversions so I decided to speed it up and end it soon.
Your mastery of sensuality is delicious. This was so fucking hot the whole time, especially the sex scene; I couldn’t get enough. Can’t wait to read more!
Oh my god, this was so fucking hot from beginning to end! I loved Razz cumflating Derek’s udder (and the massive cock), I loved the montage-type scene of Derek getting milked all night—I’m a sucker for describing things as lasting a long time—I loved the hypermasculinity transformation; it was all so good.
Looking forward to more!
Echoing the previous comment. discovered this series today and love it!
Great chapter. can’t wait to see what happens with coach and the rest of the rugby team. Hope I don’t have to wait to long for the next chapter.
I think that Killian should go after the coach. That would make things easier. Also I love seeing a daddy coach. Also great chapter. Really enjoying this story.
@Redcoma100 Took your advice, hope you enjoy the last two chapters and let me know if there’s anything else you want to see!
Ahhhh, this makes me so warm inside! I love all the characters, I love their dynamics, and it just draws me in so much. Again, looking forward to more.
Also, I suppose it’s too realistic a world for cum inflation, huh?
This is so cute and sweet! And I love how sensual and subtle your descriptions are of the slightest romantic touches. I’m looking forward to more.
hottt would love to hear about the room mates day
I have to say I really enjoyed reading this story, normally i dont read “Jock” stories. some on here might not agree with me, but i do like story lines that involve turning gay men into straight men, OK I know at the end of this both reverted back to being gay -
oooh i loved these two chapters, and i’m immediately invested in the characters. cant wait to see whats next!
This story needs a sequel. it should have more chapter.
true love is really rare in this site, thats why i love this.
Great story so far. I hope good things happen.
@Cutlerfan yeah this is going to be more in the romance/drama direction of things. I’m hoping to get to the steamy fun stuff (for Caleb and separately for his dads!) in the next few chapters as he navigates this little secret of his.
Honestly, I almost stopped reading half way through because I thought it was going to be the usual dumb jock story. I will do that with stories that lose me, I won’t finish them. BUT once I hit the part about the now straight bros and what they were going to do with a little bro hanging around, I thought it might be kinda comedic seeing two less than sharp guys trying to take care of a kid. I’m glad I read through to the end, it was a nice twist on a seriously tired genre! Honestly, the dumbing down as you get muscles thing has just been done to death. Yeah, they ended up dumber, but I liked how it ended. VERY well written and I enjoyed the story!
I was pretty worried there for a bit but I loved the ending!
WOW! What an amazing story! It reads like a deconstruction of the “older guys become bros” tales that are all over this site. What happens to the lives that get left behind when those changes happen? Families, coworkers…as the intro says, our lives are not just our own. We connect to so many others; this story is a reminder of that. And I’m a sucker for happy endings, so I love that Elias loses and Steve and Daniel win! The love they felt for their child transcended any selfish power…thank you for this wonderful surprise. :)
Sensuous, slow burn - great job!
Now that was certainly unexpected… Perfectly written as usual and now I’m even more curious how this will end…
Are.you just writing this or did you have this story lying around for a while aready?
@Martin this one is a GCS exclusive! I’ve been wanting to work out the dynamics of an mpreg romantic storyline for a little while now and this is the combination of ideas that “clicked” for me. More to come, probably in a little bit, and it’ll get nice and steamy from here on out - we’ve got all the exposition and characterization sorted out now so the fun can begin!
I love a good story with the power of love
So cute! And I can’t wait to see where it’s heading… I just hope that Brett doesn’t get excluded with Owen’s and Stefan’s big revelation.
(BTW, Stefan is the name of my cousin who I had a crush on since my teens and who turned out to be gay as well - as I only learned many years later).
@Martin Well I think you’ll be pretty satisfied on both counts haha! Stefan will come up again and you’ll meet him eventually, and the core of the story, at least by my intent, is the relationship between Caleb and Brett as they navigate The Big News.
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