Recent Comments

12/23/23, 4:50 AM
I really don't enjoy giving bad reviews to stories on this site. I do appreciate the imagination and writing skills of the authors. I appreciate the time the authors devote to write stories their readers will enjoy. But in my mind the absolute worst stories here are those that have an interesting plot, good characters and relationship development -- the well-written stories i love the most that leave me hanging for months waiting to know what happened to the friends i made reading the story and the author i felt so much kinship with. This story was particularly difficult. I do feel badly about my review, but because this story was cut off so early in a promising life, it can no longer be one of my favorites. I still have hopes that with further chapters this problem could be rectified, but only time will tell. I do apologize for writing a critique that may leave other readers wanting more. Trust me. I understand.
Dec 21, 2023
12/22/23, 9:47 PM
Wow what a story, just finished the full novel and it was a thoroughly enjoyable read. As a sucker for a happy romantic ending, especially involving polyamorous groups, I won't say I wasn't a little disappointed by Eddie's fate. The finall confrontation also felt a little anticlimactic, like it was over before it really began and there was never actually a moment were Eddie might have succeeded. But there were also so many things about the story that really had me hooked. Cycling teams are a very under appreciated niche in the world of sports themed fetish erotica, despite being so well suited to them. The team work, the uniforms, the built in hierarchy of the different members, all innately submissive to the leader, lend themselves perfectly to the drone story genre and I'm thrilled you decided to go this direction. The many subversions and misdirects throughout were thrilling and really kept up the suspense. I kept second guessing who the villain was actually going to be until almost the very end. Was it Devin or was it Ryder? All the different hints at Ryders means of control, never giving anyway too much away until the reveal but just enough to keep the mystery going. The seeming conflict between Ryder's group and the implanted, between the natural athletes and the artifically enhanced appeared at first to be the central theme of the narrative only for that too to be turned on its head. What an absolutely fantastic novel. Really hope you chose to write more in this genre and style.

12/22/23, 10:39 PM
@[phillipsm](/user/show/919402) First things first -- thank you very much! I'm glad you spent the time with it and enjoyed it. I worked really hard to keep the creepiness and paranoia building, with Eddie realizing he was walking into the trap, but not quite getting the weight of those decisions -- writing it all of as roleplay. I'm glad you felt it paid off. > The final confrontation also felt a little anticlimactic, like it was over before it really began and there was never actually a moment were Eddie might have succeeded. I understand this comment. I tossed out a red herring there, I admit, but I wanted the reader to root for Eddie so I could take that away from them. Also to give me some forward motion toward the end of the book. A couple of the critiques I've gotten wished I'd made more of the personality changes after being Implanted -- like the Stepford Wives homage with Kelley. I get that. I thought Eddie's happy capitulation -- that he knew what had been done to him, but he didn't care as long as he remained the Favorite -- was enough, but I realize i could've gone further. Again, thank you for your kind words and for slogging through it. If you would be so kind as to leave me a review on Amazon, I'd appreciate it! edited to add: I agree with you about the bike eroticism, but I was really looking at the group masturbation scenes as the focus

12/23/23, 2:04 AM
@[absman420](/user/show/162063) No, thank you very much for penning such a thrilling novel. The build up definitely paid off. Your never sure what which trap Eddie is walking into until its too late. I suspected it was a deliberate decision to through in a little extra twist right at the end. Very George R.R. Martin of you. I think the personality changes were handled very well. The amplification of Devin's negative traits and libido and the stepfordization of Kelley seemed fairly clear. Especially contrasted against Ryder's group and their hostility towards the Implant. Thats what lead me to think the conflict in the story was going to be Eddie resisting the temptation of the Implant and succumbing to Ryder's programming. Honestly are the first few riding scenes I was thinking that Ryder was using audio hyponsis and the walkie talkies to program thw guys. Then again if all the guys on the team were Implanted as well, maybe their hostility towards the others doesn't actually make sense. Perhaps you could have gone a little further with it because Eddie copulating didn't really come across that clearly to me. Will absolutely do that. Hopefully the good reviews will encourage you to write more long form novels like this in the future. Oh I totally agree that the group masturbation scenes were the focus of the overtly erotic scenes, I was talking more of the subtle eroticism of the bike time. Plus I didn't want to give away the big pay off scenes in case someone read the comments before they finished the whole novel.
Blakenikolas
12/22/23, 2:55 PM
Fuck yea. Already boned for more!
Dec 21, 2023
12/22/23, 3:30 AM
it's like an ode to bike riding more so than anything else. whatever the storyline is, you're losing me with the riding stuff.

Anonymous
12/22/23, 11:19 AM
@[musclejunky](/user/show/10019676) The cycling is used as a means of developing a one-ness of mind in the riders — the “drones” of their master’s. At the beginning of the novel, it’s important to see riding as a “safe space” for Eddie and how much he loves it. (Not to mention his spandex fetish.) I’ve done cycling stories before and yes, this one may be more technical, but it needed that taste of authenticity to work. Sorry you’re not into it.
Dec 29, 2021
12/29/21, 3:50 PM
Great story, loved the concept and the execution. Sex scenes were totally on point and super hot. I loved all of Robert's outfits and costumes. The only thing that could have made it more romantic IMO would have been for Robert to have more of an independent will/personality of his own.

12/30/21, 4:26 AM
Oh absolutely@amul, maybe I'll be inspired to add maybe another couple of chapters to this one to make Robert a real boy lol...

Anonymous
9/2/22, 1:09 PM
@JoSmith It would actually be hotter if Brandon asked for additional boy toys from Santa and add more member of the "Pole" family😉.....

X
12/4/23, 6:24 PM
@[JoSmith](/user/show/138776) Really loved this story, would love if you made a sequel or another story like this!

JX
12/21/23, 8:46 PM
@[JoSmith](/user/show/138776) Continuation this Christmas?
Dec 21, 2023
12/21/23, 9:49 AM
I just downloaded and read the whole thing, and it's an amazing story. You took a very old pornographic theme--the harem story that shows up in a lot of Victorian erotica--and turned it into something that feels fresh and powerfully erotic.

12/21/23, 12:52 PM
@[Hypnothrill](/user/show/37386) I can't tell you how happy I am you liked it! When I set about plotting, I realized the expense of the Implant would limit the amount of transformations the reader would see, so it couldn't be a "take over the world" story -- not on its surface, anyway. Instead, I took the POV of the ingenue entering into an already corrupt world and discovering the danger piece by piece. For me, that felt very different, and I was concerned that it wouldn't grab the reader who wants "...and then the same thing happened to Bob".
Dec 21, 2023
Martin
12/21/23, 8:21 AM
Hi, I've edited the story to turn it into a proper "Sponsored Story" (on the submit/edit screen, there is a extra check button for Sponsored Stories which opens up a whole new set of additional properties when activated). Your story is now pinned for 10 days. You can also add an 'official' teaser text and the Amazon product ID, which will automatically create links to most international Amazon outlets. Please edit the story to add the teaser text (which is shown at the story's end in an extra box) and the correct ID. I tried to add the ID myself, but I couldn't find your book in the German Amazon store...

12/21/23, 12:30 PM
@[Martin](/user/show/125990) Thank you, Martin. I'd been a sponsor for a while, but when it changed, I didn't realize I hadn't renewed with it. Glad to sponsor -- refer readers to this site a LOT! I'll search out the German link and send it to you.
12/20/23, 8:20 PM
Also longtime NCMC reader back when I was younger :) I've been blasting through these chapters. In the past year I’ve been activating my super dormant bottom body. Mind body connection, feeling stronger gspot sensations, really deep machine fuck, even adding in nipples, and wow this story has been like my sexual journey. Even the Ethical Slut references lol! I was a little confused by the Tyler part until the callback (haha dumb slut I know XD) but all the buildups and revelations were very rewarding. Amazing (-amazing!, drool) writing!
Elm
12/20/23, 4:13 PM
Holy. Shit. I loved it!!😍
12/19/23, 4:34 PM
I consider this story one of the best written in this place. I've enjoyed every word. Thanks