Recent Comments

8/26/21, 4:36 AM
I don't want this story to end :)

8/27/21, 12:32 AM
Aww, thanks! I have a bunch more chapters planned! @italianstalian1987
8/24/21, 8:11 PM
Finally getting back to this story and catching up on it now that a new chapter has been added and I love this chapter. Sam's experience getting a self-lubricating butt and really enjoying it is hitting many of my buttons, and I'm not surprised to see Nutiper was involved in this chapter based on that alone. I also like the relationship between Gabe and Sam, as well as their differences re: Gabe being generally thoughtful about the changes and Sam being VERY impulsive. I'm gonna keep reading and see what happens from here on.

Nutiper
8/25/21, 2:16 AM
@Proteus Ooooh I *do* have a yen for butts, though I will say that the entire self-lubricating butts concept and edit was 100% all Blue, haha. If you haven't already, you might enjoy checking out his earlier story, "Pan-Galactic Human Fan Club"! It's still in-progress and has a few chapters to go before it's completed, but it has a *lot* of really fun and hot stuff in it, including some hyper-sensitive butts... plus some other things too...

8/26/21, 1:47 AM
@Nutiper Thanks for the recommendation. I spent a good chunk of today reading it, and I'm thoroughly enjoying it. Super fun, and super hot aliens.

Nutiper
8/26/21, 4:11 AM
@Proteus Oh you are *very* welcome and I am glad you liked it! And I totally agree with your assessment — *fun* and *hot* are great words for it, ha. I am excited for the eventual final chapters!
8/25/21, 7:51 PM
AMAZING new chapter! I love the fixes to Sam's selfish brojob edit and the slow spiral he's on toward just straight up wanting to be gay. The dance around putting him and Marc together is masterful, and I can't wait to see all the changes on the way there. Personally, I'm enjoying the way their constant horniness is getting the better of them and leading them to make poorly thought out edits. I wouldn't mind a mix of occasional smarter edits thrown in, but I'm absolutely on board for horny college bros letting their dicks and butts do the thinking for them ;)

8/26/21, 2:29 AM
Thanks! I originally had more Marc in this chapter, but it got too long so I split it into two chapters. I have a mix of dumb horny edits and at least *moderately* clever changes planned for future chapters. @Curiosity
8/25/21, 11:25 PM
Holy fuck dude, good job.

8/26/21, 12:37 AM
Thanks! Nutiper and MonsterMash62 really helped me punch up this chapter! @Dace
Dec 24, 2020
8/25/21, 3:49 AM
Loved the story, excellent sex scenes that got me hard & leaking, great story build and fun to read. Now, where can I find a Bradley for my own!
8/25/21, 3:18 AM
Interesting. So the sex was hot. That said the logical smart elements of the start seem to have faded into sex crazed changes which aren't as stellar. I hope the gay guy can get a focused mind to like fix the chaos edits. Honestly, I really like the sex parts, thats quite enjoyable, but the story feels less real, less complex, now.

8/25/21, 3:31 AM
Thanks for commenting! I'm trying to write this story as if two horny college dudes got their hands on a reality-altering magic book -- and sometimes they think with their dick (or butt) instead of their brains! @Heru Kane

8/25/21, 3:37 AM
@bluesuedewho Yeah I noticed that. Its just that at the start there was a bit more using their brains and I liked that element. Now Sam is basically a dumb jock and Gabe isn't as nice as he was original, at least it doesn't feel like he was. Also the whole thing with Sam's hole is like "come on, let him get rimmed and/or fucked." Like I said, the sex parts are super sexy and enjoyable. I liked that. It just had other elements that were fun at the start that have given way to pure sex and they are missed by me.

8/25/21, 3:42 AM
I can't promise that future chapters are going to be *exactly* what you're looking for, but I can say that this chapter sets up future changes beyond just Sam loving blowjobs! @Heru Kane
8/24/21, 10:08 PM
Well, hot damn. This is, by far, the hottest chapter so far. Especially the end with the new edits both Sam and Gabe did. Gabe's edit to make apology blowjobs fun for Sam, too, was a nice touch and brought his character back to being more like the other chapters. Sam making an edit to himself to be a fantastic sex partner for anyone made me incredibly turned on at the end of this chapter. Especially the part where he flexed each butt cheek separately. Woof. A few minor things to point out, though. The paragraph starting with "Gabe moaned "Ah fuck, Sam..."" was repeated and that threw me off a little as I was reading. There were also a couple times in this and previous chapters where the textbook was referred to as a notebook. It made it a little confusing. Other things I liked: Everything about Marc, and Sam inadvertently turning him on. Sam admitting he blocked Marc, and then giving in and trying to get a good word put in with Melanie. The man in black being at the GSA meeting. I really want to know more about him. I mean, really, this whole chapter was top notch. I'm looking forward to seeing what other antics Sam and Gabe will get into. Really great world building, great sex scenes, and fantastic characterizations. I can't say enough about how much I'm enjoying this story.

8/24/21, 11:51 PM
Thanks for the feedback! I might go back and tidy up mentions to "notebooks" at some point, but I've done so much editing the past week or so I need a bit of a break! @Proteus

8/25/21, 1:27 AM
@bluesuedewho I don't blame you. This was a lot of story to edit, and you deserve a break from it!
SC Walker
8/24/21, 10:39 PM
Just Fantastic!! My favorite story on here by far. The relationship between Sam and Gabe is so hot but also wholesome. The sex scenes are so descriptive and intense. The anticipation to see Sam finally get fucked is killing me but I know the wait is gonna be worth it.

8/24/21, 11:49 PM
Thanks! I came across some erotic media over the last year or so that kind of opened my eyes to the possibility of stuff that is both playful but also pushes the right kink buttons for me. @SC Walker

SC Walker
8/25/21, 12:52 AM
I'd really appreciate if you could share some of your inspiration! Your stories have unlocked some new kinks for me too. @bluesuedewho

8/25/21, 1:05 AM
It was lots of little things that built up, but the biggest influence was probably my discovery of audio roleplay? I'd never heard of it before, but there were some clips that mixed emotional depth, fun tone, and then hot sex. Most of them were straight erotica, to be honest. No idea how the algorithm directed me there! I *do* remember that the video that pushed me in the direction was this SFW gay audio roleplay https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQFtn1rsrMA&t=1s&ab_channel=ASMRGav and then I just started googling and found a whole new world of erotica. @SC Walker
8/24/21, 8:31 PM
Glad this is back. this chapter was very fun. Loved trying to figure out exactly what the changes were before the reveal.

8/25/21, 12:23 AM
Thanks! I'm glad the guessing was fun! @Cadek
8/24/21, 9:08 PM
This chapter was just as hot as the last chapter, but I do kind of agree with some of the earlier posters that said that Gabe's attitude seemed to have changed. It's clear that it must have seemed darker in an earlier version, and it's clear that it's better now. But I do hope we haven't lost the fun Gabe just because he's a dom top now. That being said, I'm digging the looser restrictions on heterosexuality that Sam is editing into this reality. It makes me think that maybe if actual reality were like that, maybe things would be better.
8/24/21, 6:14 PM
This is by far my favorite story of the year so far. I love the dialogue between Gabe and Sam. It feels really natural and fun and light-hearted. And I love the edits they’ve made, and seeing the impact on Sam. And it’s soooo damn hot. Thanks for writing Blue and Nutiper. The two of you make an incredible team, and having seen you write these chapters, I know how much work and thought goes into them. I really appreciate it.
Btm
8/23/21, 10:58 PM
Eagerly waiting for the next chapter!

8/24/21, 3:21 AM
It's super close! Just gotta do some minor editing... @Btm
8/23/21, 10:43 PM
This chapter feels really well edited, considering the comment that this one was cut short/rearranged. The subtle tone shift was well executed as a transition chapter from full hot scenes to more plot development. I fell myself getting pulled into the larger story. Great job!
8/23/21, 5:29 PM
Very hot! I look forward to the next chapter.
Jonanator
8/23/21, 4:30 PM
Hottt.
8/23/21, 12:22 PM
Loved it! The three guys waking up together was sweet and hot at the same time, and I liked the tension and release between Robert and Luke. Hope Matt can come give Robert some peace of mind soon 😏 formatting and proofreading stuff are spotless too! Thanks for posting.
8/23/21, 7:56 AM
I love this series :)
8/18/21, 8:03 PM
Chapter 13* specifically. Their original meeting is in chapter 5.

8/19/21, 8:37 AM
@Norismo Oh boy, yes, that's a bit complicated. Okay, so it's another version of the meeting, with the changes from the latter chapters? Okay, it makes a lot more sense that way. Still confused by the manor bit, but that might get explained later on.
8/18/21, 7:10 PM
A huge follower of the main story on GSS. And now I'm even more confused on how much is/was changed by Billy Bonkers. It's great to see more from other people's perspective, but how the hell did Jack have memories of Daniel as an ex before Daniel was even there, but then the manor??? Really romantic, but oh boy was putting it in Dalton Creek made me think way too much about the lore and what is happening in the main story to fully enjoy.

8/18/21, 8:01 PM
@BobbyBlobfish I love the lore! Thanks for the support. This is basically happening during part 3 of the "Dream" bit, not chapter 4 (?) Right before Daniel wakes up. Daniel's memories of their meeting are also changed. It is a huge mess honestly. You need a pen and paper to follow along at this point . I might have to make a forum post 😂😂
8/17/21, 9:40 PM
I really like this story, but two big problems here: punctuation and uppercases are all over the place ( "ask me this **.?**", "didn't know **What** I was), some words are missing ( do you see *me* as a person or as an object), sometimes letters (an*D* only do things with me. I was the one who was supposed to *b*ring you her*e*)... So I had to stop to make sure I properly understood. I mean, English is not my first language either, but here it's getting in the way of reading. The second things is that it comes WAY too fast. Even with those explanations, nobody would forgive that easily. Even if Kai puts conditions, it still feel like he got over a lot of issues and sympathize too much with Jae. It's not credible, so I'm taken out of the story, because Jae's kind of behavior is very toxic. Even if that's the point, it doesn't come like the story criticize enough, and if it's involuntary, it means one of the character is bordering on bad guy without meaning to.

Jonanator
8/18/21, 4:01 PM
@BobbyBlobfish Thanks for the comment. Punctuation is something I will work on, I am not so good on it, so I will work on it. As for the second the second part, I'll try to explain and touch on that. Kai will actually still feel uneasy around Jae, and won't want to actually spend time with him, but traumatic event will bring them together, so that's all I'll say on that. I'll also touch on why Jae seems toxic, and it should give a reason as to why he may seem controlling at time in future chapter. Hope that gives you a sense of where this is going, at least a bit. I read a series on Nifty that kind of inspired me to kind of right my own, and in it the guys were somewhat what you described, and very controlling, but they still loved there partner. I kind of plan to make a series out of this, if this story goes well, so keep the comments coming.
8/17/21, 3:28 AM
This was a great idea for a submission! I thought it was cool that the place was a gay polyam commune, and it was fun reading about how Billy Bonkers affected the excessive order. You set up Jack's life well, why he wanted to change, and how Daniel rescued him. It seemed like some of the plot elements came out of nowhere, but that *is* how life tends to work - not much foreshadowing. It felt similar to stream-of-consciousness literature. One thing I would suggest is adding punctuation to the end of all your dialogue. All the other writing has full punctuation and correct spelling and looks good, so it's kind of jarring whenever a quote doesn't end in the proper punctuation, and it makes the writing appear lazy - falsely, since your writing is good here.

8/17/21, 6:23 AM
@Soren Fitz Ah, grammar, my old nemesis. Read on its own the story elements are rather random, but this is actually a "Midnight Sun" if Dalton Creek on Gay Spiral was "Twilight". That story is... something. It's the same story elements told from the other perspective. This is like a Disney version of Dalton Creek's Grimm fairytales. I wanted this story to function as a stand-alone, maybe the start of a series of one-offs where different duos from the commune go on dates and things.

8/17/21, 12:53 PM
@Norismo That makes so much more sense now! I noticed a few hours after reading that you had posted twenty-three chapters of Dalton Creek stories in the past, and now I understand what’s going on.
8/17/21, 7:16 AM
I have to say, this story was a pleasure to read, and I don't mean just because I was pleasuring myself as I read it. The situations were good, the sex was titillating, and the ending was very satisfying. I liked how Eric and Ricardo were almost a future glimpse at how Fin and Ronny would eventually be: still fucking constantly, but having more of a healthy relationship feel to it. A wonderfully satisfying story, and I very much look forward to your next work!
8/16/21, 1:00 PM
Big fan of this series. I love the flow of events here; the little tease we get when we think Luke's going to give in and his scene with the coach both make the whole product sexier. I gotta say though, this chapter reads more like a rush job or an unfinished draft than previous ones did (which had clean, brief paragraphs, correct punctuation, clean spelling, in general showed a really high skill level!). Life gets crazy sometimes, it's all good, but going forward I'd personally be happy to wait two more weeks (or whatever) so you have time to finish editing and deliver that quality we know you're capable of!

8/16/21, 2:01 PM
@tenser13 It's good to know about it. I'm not sure how long it took me to write it, but I'll try to give a check before I post the next chapters. Thanks for the feedback!

8/16/21, 2:21 PM
@tenser13 I had messed up the paragraphs, I did a revision for that. Thanks for helping me notice!

8/17/21, 1:47 AM
@Lookintomyeyesboy Love it, thank you! And no problem, just happy to have your hot stories on here!
Martin
8/16/21, 8:38 PM
Honestly, the way you write, you don't need no kink. This scene was amazingly hot. I'm really honored to have you aboard! Please share more of these stories from a "less kinky phase"!

8/17/21, 12:25 AM
@Martin :3 you're too kind! I've got some stuff in mind for GCS but I just need to get through some life stuff first!
Martin
8/16/21, 8:24 PM
All right, now we have some drama... Let's see where this is heading. Please go on!

Jonanator
8/16/21, 10:50 PM
@Martin thanks for the comment. I was actually just going to do star on the next chapter. I'm glad you like it. I think the direction I take this in might branch off to a sequel story, if it turn out good, so, more is on the horizon.
Martin
8/16/21, 8:21 PM
It's a difficult topic, a love story with a self-loathing homophobic closet case... But I like what you did so far. Let's see where this is going! I hope it'll have a goog ending... :)
Anonymous
8/16/21, 6:43 AM
Very hot, the way you do dialogue is a bit confusing though

8/16/21, 2:22 PM
I ha messed up the spacing, it should be fixed now. Sorry about that.