Very nice chapter, some little faults here and there but nothing dramatic. I feel the same thing as with some of the previous story: In a monarchy, especially how Jae was portrayer in the first story, people shouldn't have nearly have as much power to talk back as they seems to think they do in this series. How could father Martin take Colt if he is locked up? Also, isn't Colt the younger brother of Zane? I'm a bit confused by that threat. Why is he bringing him up when talking with the emperor rather than with Zane ("you come, or I take your brother" would make more sense, if I remember correctly). On the other hand, If Colt if of the royal family, why would he be let anywhere near a guy they want to arrest? How could Martin get to him? The reaction of the parent was sadly believable, on the other hand. Hard conservative families believe what they want... And I still have some issue with the constant power unbalance. I repeat, but if one character has no choice but to leave with another, it creates a dynamic that is only worsened by the class difference. And the Morningstar are really starting to accept only people who have no choice but to stay with them or going back to their abusers... I do think the main couple is cute, i just would appreciate it better if it didn't feel like Zane accepted to marry a guy he known for a few days because he can't go back to his family. It feels more pragmatic or desperate than romantic.

Can't wait to seem more. looking forward to it.

This is ... shockingly sweet. I'm very excited to read more of this!

cant wait for another chapter

This is one of my favorite stories in a long time. I check the site daily for updates. I kinda hope this is a LONG story. There is so much you can do with this. Keep up the amazing work!

Whoa! I give you an "A" for originality!!! Looking forward to see where you're gonna take this one.

Wow. Love this series so much - especially the slightly indirect nature of the latest edits. Like, Gabe's precum making recipients just kind of *anticipate* what's next is such a clever little twist on what could be a run-of-the-mill "my precum makes you horny" idea. Which, lol, is actually quite a bizarre idea, unless you're operating on the relative scale that is GSS, so... Anyway. Point is, I liked it. Insanely hot chapter. Keep it coming!

excited to see where this goes

What a twist! Looking forward to more.

OK, **definitely** following this one!

That story is amazing, really. I'm not into fisting, but reading this made me want to be Derek in that moment. There's so much potential for crazy hot perverse sex stories in this scenario, so we can only hope that you'll keep coming up with more adventures between Razz and Derek. Especially since you teased me already with your mentioning of rubber ... :)

ohhhh, teasing about somebody else who will probably show up! And we have a mysterious main bad guy for the story! I'm hyped!!! Wonder how Zane will react to what he'll learn. Okay, so the dad probably doesn't know what happened, that explain a lot. Hehehhehe, Dylan has his father's possessiveness.

*Honey,* that fisting scene was hot as all hell. I don’t know how unrealistic it is, if at all, to be able to pull out your whole fist and push it right the fuck back in, but *damn,* it turned me on anyway. Also, guilty pleasure, the word “punching” calls back all my S/M tendencies even though there wasn’t a hint of pain. Switching from sexy to romantic to sexy, with dirty talk in the midst of the romance, was a great idea. Even though Razz came down in the middle, I didn’t. You focused the romantic conversation effectively and it bled right into the next scene. Once again, great story, great fun, great writing! You’re a worthy competitor. (Also, once the contest is over would you consider adding another with Razz bottoming or Derek deepthroating? I saw there were the other two Derek/Razz stories but size stealing isn’t always my thing. I might try them still, especially if they’re temporary changes.)

Your writing is so fluid! It reads smoothly; it’s descriptive; your vocab range is wide and it shows. I’m enjoying the fluffy romance—it’s pleasant and sweet. That you tease at it through Razz brushing it away over and over again keeps the idea of it in the reader’s head while not over-expositing, and there are so many other subtle ways their chemistry appears. The one thing I’ll say is that the wording of some of Razz’s self-reflections feel somewhat clunky, but everyone writes clunky wording sometimes, so it’s not a mark. I’m also typically not the biggest on mind control, so I like themes where things happen naturally even though the characters could use powers. It’s sweet to see the unexpected happen to someone who can do anything they expect. And a delicious sex scene! The gradual progression of Derek getting more and more eager was great. It seems like you really have a grasp on how sex works, and I found myself wishing that bottoming would feel that good for me, too. Keep up the good work. I’m on to the next!

I really enjoyed this story! Your characters are well written and I like this dynamic of having the hypnosis without the usual aggression that comes on GSS. I think you ought to continue this story with at least another chapter or two. Both this site and GSS would benefit from your particular style of writing. I'm glad that you found the courage to post this, and while I'm only one reader, I really think this is hot! I definitely got off on it. Please write and post more of your stuff!

Aww.... I see myself there... the wanna-be bottom, it's me. I want so much to feel more when being fucked, and I'd love to be a slutty bottom boy... So this resonated with me a lot. So would you come visit me, please, Razz???

Hot story. Are you planning to do more?

Razz, you are allowed to crosspost this story on GSS if you want to. Soren Fitz has done the same. The demon does qualify this as far as I'm concerned.

cannot wait for more!!

Amazing!

That's just so romantic, it should be posted on gaycupid, too!

Absolutely in love with this series. The slow-burn is perfectly paced and the writing is exceptional. I can't wait to hear about how the boys' fathers get integrated into their group, even if it's just through them relaying their experiences at home to each other. Also hoping to hear about one of Pastor Pete's initially guilt-ridden but ultimately explosive masturbation sessions with his big dong!

hot so far. can't wait for more.

Really enjoying this story! Found this chapter to be especially hot.

Loving the progression so far! Excited to read more

... What? Guess I needed to wait this chapter. Your chapters 2, pffffieewwww. They tend to introduce a shit ton of stuff to open. 1) Putting mind control, given the fact this site is still a spin-off of a mind-control porn site, is interesting. Not sure how we are supposed to take it. Probably more horrifying than some will take it (I read things on GSS or Tumblr. I don't think you wanna know). But, okay. You continue to show a lot more ideas that seems better thought-out than in "The prince and I", which was suffering, as stated before, of questionable stuff that led nowhere and things that came out too late. Here, the hypnosis could have come out in the first chapter if he received messages from his parents (should have, probably, even.) but it's nicely done. It seems in character (except the whore part. I hope this get explained. Maybe simply sold to women.). 2) But I must confess with the beginning of the chapter, what I'm used to read, I was expecting Ahmed to brainwash Zane. Maybe he'll take advantage, maybe not. Your story is your own, and my curiosity was sting (French expression. I'm interested.) on what the brainwash element add to the mix. 3) However, as soon as I read "Father's good slut", I almost facepalm. I wasn't there to comment during the writing of the previous part and so you didn't have a block of text about questionable tropes to hold with precaution. But, WHY IS THIS THE THIRD STORY WITH THE ROYAL LEAD SAVING THE COMMONER FROM A SEX-RELATED SITUATION??? I don't read a lot of Harlequin and co, but is this a massive tropes? A relationship can be build without a partner needing to get away from his home and being near-dependent on the other. Especially when the one who is taking care of the other has a much higher position. This is filled with power unbalance. Also, we are definitively reaching sex assault and abuse as a tool for easy drama. =(=(=(=(=(= 4) Also, something I didn't comment on for a while. Your writing. It's getting better, slowly but surely. The phrase are better built, there is a style that his starting to be defined, I notice less errors, and they are much more minors. The only issue still present is how fast everything happen, but you seems to be interested in short chapters so I can get over it (and I don't like long stories, so I'm not complaining). =)=)=)=)=)=)=)=)=

Oh, I like the idea. The "commoner meet royalty" is really cliché and your at your third story, but this is not the most common set-up for the role. The relationship... i would say Zane changes his mind fast, but it's not too distracting for now. I do say THANK YOU, this feels a lot less like a "love at first sight" situation than the previous one. For Jae and Kai, there was a previous relationship, but Kai wanted him without having met and Jae had a love than went from 5-10 to 90 in a rape save. Austin and Cole it was hard to buy. Here, there is attraction, but it's not love yet. (or I should read chapter 2 first and it's gonna be speed).

Another great chapter. You keep surprising me. I just love how reasonable you make all Tanner's ideas seem. Of course, they are all gonna consider it normal to kiss each other. That makes total sense, at least when Tanner explains it :-) My only nitpick is what seems to be the beginning of the pastor's sexualized feelings towards his son. It seems weird that his cock would react when he kissed his son. 1: I don't think the pastor would think of his penis as a "cock". 2: I would have thought that Tanner would play a much more active role in changing the pastor's thoughts and feelings towards his son and the other young men. As I read this chapter Tanner only really pushed the idea that the guys had all thought about kissing a guy. The pastor's cock reacting to his son and him slowly starting to admire his son's body seems to be all on his own accord. Are we supposed to think that the pastor already had some lingering thoughts about his son that Tanner is only taking advantage of? But none the less I am really looking forward to the next chapter. I guess it will soon be time for the pastor's "normal" jerk-off session if he now believes that he does it twice a day.

I think chapter 7 was the weakest, because the romantic misunderstanding is such an used trope and it made no sense that Cole would be betraying the royal family given his past, but it was dealt with quickly. This was a bit of a mess, with perhaps the worst issues being the number of things that came out of nowhere (the tapes, the uncle, the false name...) or were useless overall (Mark dating Vincent, the gratuitous rapes (Cole simply being tortures would have had the same effect), the bigotry of the parents witch was such a weak motivations it might have been better they have none). BUT, the main couple was likable, there were plenty of good ideas that just didn't have time to breathe, a bit more character development than in "The emperor and I"... I liked reading the story. I just felt it could have been handled better.

Tanner is quite aggressive sometimes,but I guess he needs to be if he wants his group to work out I have some suspicions about who Tanner is exactly,but I'll wait and see. the plot thickens