Oh man... what an incredible sex scene you've written. A little bit over the top at the end, but amazing regardless.... And at the same time so romantic! Guys, If you read this on GSS, make sure to head over to GayCupid [using this link](https://www.gaycupidstories.com/story/show/10002388) to give this story the proper "romance" rating, too. It deserves it! And I have to change the coding to make it possible to rate all categories from all sites on cross posted stories. But for now you've got to do that manually please!

Finally, a "bully" story that I can get behind. This was very well-written start to finish. It truly felt like a romance story (with erotic scenes) and is an excellent entry into the contest.

I’m loving this—the subtle bittersweetness of Charlie transforming back and forth, the little bits of foreshadowing you scatter around, the sex—actually, I wanted to mention, I love how much precum he was leaking; please don’t drop that in future chapters, because it was hot as fuck.

I guess it's the fate of readers that you want to shout at the protagonist "Just ask him what's going on!" but of course that's too easy. I like that you incorporated the idea that dogs are mostly colorblind.

Well, Im glad they had the time to finish the blowjob at least. It couldve gotten... hairy

Very cute, really well written and it got me hard! So mission accomplished!

Such a cool world you've built here. I love the sociological details and the vivid atmosphere, and the way two people can try to project a social signal that's completely misinterpreted by the other person. Gotta say that I'm scared for Adrien though, what with the chair and all... can't wait to dig into chapter 2!

This was a nice fantasy! It felt like that sort of exciting sexual twist to an otherwise plain experience we all sometimes think of, distilled into erotica. The sex scene was good and I was happy when the protagonist got Will’s number. Thanks for a good story!

This is such a good story. I can't wait for more. I'm curious now if Charlie belongs to someone. I can't wait to see morel.

DAMN!!! 2 VERY hot scenes in these past 2 chapters! I must bow to your continued stringing us all along with the art room scene with not letting Marc and Sam get further than they currently have. I did feel flattered with the inclusion of the dotty teacher character, the “Dehydrated” line and the cat-call for “the apology blowjob pose”. Could you have already had them in your head/on ‘paper’? Of course, but I’ll take the vicarious props where I can lol The last edit seems to have opened up a whole new genre that is pretty popular on this site: superheroes. Also noticed the dropped hints of both Sam and Gabe enjoying comic books in the last chapter and we have the suits as the mysterious antagonists so I’d say it’s lined up pretty darn well! So let's get to PREDICTIONS!!!! No intention to spoil or dictate but I find this fun. As always, use/ignore what you like. 1. I’ll start with the safe bet that a future scene will happen downtown where most likely Sam will need to retreat from the suits into Paradise Books. I suspect this is where the Magic Textbook came from and the hangout of the female teachers (I predict lots of shawls lol). I could hypothesize what the place is powered by ie demons, devils, genies, aliens etc but there’s not enough to put something respectable together… yet. 2. Eventually Sam will realize that Melanie is into Lisbeth and since EVERYONE is apparently willing to shout about their sexual exploits from the rooftops, he’ll overhear that Melanie loved teasing Lisbeth’s sensitive breasts/nipples. Bringing a great symmetry to the previously crossed out change “guys have big, mega-sensitive nipples like girls – especially horny straight guys.” 3. I think that you’ll run with the super/comic book hero set up you’ve done. As far as Marc’s powers, we got a hint that he could previously spread the pleasure he provides to those beyond who he’s fucking, changing people gay 100% of the time (HOLY SHIT HE FUCKED MELANIE LMAO!!!!) and providing them with multiple powerful orgasms. But, with the boost of “amazing dick magic superpowers”, I could see you going something like spidey senses either for horny bottoms, or “to help people”. As in he’ll literally stop a robbery by fucking the perp and making them a gay functioning member of society making the world a better place. Transport is a little tough to negotiate since his powers are focused on his penis. Something fun could be along the lines of astral projection. His sex senses go off that his penis is needed and he closes his eyes and thrusts his hips forward and then he’s be buried in the hole in need. Meanwhile, his body is left behind, clothed (possibly with his eyes closed or staring off into space) as he stays still in a trance except for his penis flexing. His pre-cum and cum are the only things that actually get physically transported (in theme with magic penis powers) allowing the elasticity and anticipation edits to work. I could foresee this being hilarious as Sam finally starts wearing down on giving Marc a chance but then Marc suddenly goes blank and stops responding except getting rock hard which scares Sam off (or not lol). Sam will essentially take on the Lois Lane role with Marc trying to just get a date but keeps getting ‘distracted’. There’s also the whole fun topic of what is this superhero’s weakness (other than Sam of course). Having a finale where the black suits or even the teachers kidnap Sam then have Marc rescue him sounds kind of hilariously amazing! 4. Black Suits/Female Teachers: obviously both have some knowledge of what is happening. Teacher’s seem to know Gabe and Sam are the center and are trying to keep things moving. Suits seem to be more like drones (another popular kink on this site lol) with little care for social norms. Except there was the first guy in the suit who reacted like a ‘normal’ person when his memory was edited to not know about the book which is a far cry from the girl in the last chapter. That is a bit confusing but I’m eager for more clues. 5. WE STILL HAVEN’T SEEN GABE’S MAJOR TRANSFORMATION EDIT!!! Took me a while but I picked up on this lol. We’ve had that clever mechanic you use to throw in words or phrases from the edit to throw us off the scent but Sam has yet to actually read it in the textbook. I’ve gathered: effects Gay AND/OR Asians males, “genetic mutation” “hyper-masculine”, “dominating”, “power/dom-tops” presence (with gravity-like-pull), “toe curling voice”, muscular, and Sam says “Gabe has a voice that is masculine and deep and such a turn on” which given your writing pattern may be the exact wording. Which brings up the interesting topic of the differences between Gabe and Marc. Gabe seems to want to be viewed as the Dom-Top type while Marc thus far has been presented as the blushing boy next door (Klark Kent maybe lol). At first I thought there may be a line about those with the mutation becoming the sexual role they most want to be but, especially after the edits in the gym shower scene, it seems like no mental changes were involved with the change and people are behaving differently due to A. the horniness from the bubble butt edit and B. the horniness from the mutation subjects increased cum production (C. possibly an increased libido line in Gabe’s mystery edit). Finally, an idea of mine that really gets me going that’s been in my head for a while is the idea of Marc turning gay with his frat bother(s). I’m pretty sure this isn’t in the story outline, but here’s what I picture. Fraternity X is hazing it’s freshmen pledges, one of whom is Marc pre-second puberty but still looking like a tall viking stud. (To avoid Marc having a straight bubble butt since it’s stated in the book that he “turned gay”, it could be written off as guys need to be at San Amaro for like a month and this is right before that.) What then takes place is the actual brothers of the frat (all straight with bubble butts) leading the pledges through increasing sexually charged activities. I like the idea of this being the trigger for the ‘straight’ pledges to develop their bubble butts, depending on their Kinsey scale, but Marc’s butt isn’t changing. Eventually Marc realizes he’s gay and goes through not only the ‘Gabe Transformation’ but also awakens his super penis powers! Marc then proceeds to fuck every member of the frat, possibly giving needed attitude adjustments to some of the leaders (optional subplot) to make the frat a better place. Not sure if they get to keep their enhanced butt since Marc turns everyone gay but that didn’t seem to be the case with Kevin… that’s your logic knot to untangle lol. Marc is still the nice boy next door but now he has an entire frat brotherhood drooling for him. (Opportunity to include additional kinks, ie incest, race, sports if that’s your cup of tea.) If you wanted to insert this into the plot, this event could have been videotaped and posted to Cumbler under ‘Straight Frat gets TOPPLED’ and who should find it on a night where Gabe is off hooking up and he’s all alone in the his dorm room? Sam of course! Maybe he even whips out his BIG toy for the occasion. Favorite Frat based Reality change stories if you want inspiration ;) https://www.gayspiralstories.com/story/show/1380 https://www.gayspiralstories.com/story/show/418615 PS - congrats, this story has actually got me interested enough to the point where I have a google doc with all the changes list chronologically to try and suss out predictions. PPS - If you ever get down about the comments of those who naysay an aspect of your story, just remember you got a guy to write an almost 3 page review based on WHAT YOU WROTE! Keep up the great work to everyone involved!