Recent Comments

11/13/20, 3:49 PM
> I’m trying to check my mental math, but are there actually 8 super-soldiers? > Yes, there are eight, but only six "named": the Lieutenant, Staff-Sergeant Wendt, Dobie, Shank, the two "Rabbits" and two un-named (think of them as "Red Shirts" at this point.) > that was some much-needed humor after the drama of Chapter 18 > That's Shakespeare, man! Put some humor in as it gets heavy, otherwise it'll slog itself down in emotional weight. > But knowing the answer Rubbrsome came up with in his sequel series, I’m reluctant to see that happen… > I've said this before as a joke, but it's totally true: Chapter 21 is the Schrödinger's Cat of gay/ sci-fi/ erotic/ alien-invasion stories. You'll see what I mean.
11/13/20, 3:23 PM
TWIST! I was wondering if, perhaps, Rugby Boy was going to escape the fate of becoming Vernon's drooling fuck toy. While Snake seems to be on board with the Deputy now, I can't imagine he's going to be too happy that Vernon tried to steal his boy away from him. Nice to see Devin getting his reward, now we have two familiars on the field... I'm trying to check my mental math, but are there actually 8 super-soldiers? Apart from the Lt. and Dobie, they all kind of blend together in my mind. For some reason I thought it was 6, and Joe plus the Variants makes 10. Also, looks like Bowden wasn't able to keep Joe under his thrall, but the Deputy has his hooks into him again. I did enjoy the rewind to Joe and the Variants, that was some much-needed humor after the drama of Chapter 18. And the noose just seems to be getting tighter around the Hosts. I'm torn between wanting the government to wipe out the Hosts to save humanity from the presumably grim fate the Great Ones have in store for us, but at the same time I want to keep our cast alive, even if it means that narratively, humanity is eventually doomed. Unless Tully is somehow able to work out a solution that allows the Hosts to survive? But knowing the answer Rubbrsome came up with in his sequel series, I'm reluctant to see that happen...
11/13/20, 3:04 PM
To read the "Author's Notes" on this chapter -- head to the [FORUM DISCUSSION](https://forum.gayspiralstories.com/t/pollination-the-discussion/1810/302). There's some inside information there that may give you some clue as to my writing process.
Anonymous
11/9/20, 8:45 PM
What a very touching and sad story! Thank you for this. I'm not into the spanking either but it worked for the story. Even though Lock accepted that it was good and natural to be an "invert", in an era before the word "homosexuality" was well-known outside medical journals, he probably would have perceived both spanking and anal penetration as different kinds of "perversions", rather than anal being the "default" kind of same-sex intimacy. And I can't help but feel that the ending, swimming into the ocean, is symbolic of how profound Lock and Sawyer's isolation would have been, the two of them against the world, even had Lock joined Sawyer all those years before, and the isolation of gay men in society in general at the time. More bitter than sweet. I feel silly saying it, but I've never teared up at a story on a gay smut website before. Maybe it's just the coronavirus isolation getting to me.
11/9/20, 8:34 PM
Yes I did catch the cameo. I was wandering if Sargent Wendt spontaneous came when the scientist and General were interviewing Wendt. But Book 2 has answered the question and the scientist wasn't described as unusually muscular.
11/9/20, 3:46 PM
> Also glad to see Tully finally seeing the fate of Murdock as a mindless “drone.” > Speaking of that vignette, did anybody notice the cameo of the Scientist and the General from Book One?
11/9/20, 1:26 AM
The deputy had earned a plant but was put on hold because Tully had only interacted with him posing as the Sheriff. The Sheriff thought it wouldn't be the last time they saw her. So could a human that had ingested the cum from two pollinated alphas been controlled as a Great One? It appears the symbiotic relationship is too great? It would have been a fun twist to see the Deputy kneel before Snake but not the Sheriff. And Snake turn on the Sheriff and eventually loose control of the deputy. The Sheriff wouldn't have known he was double-crossed because he took his eye off his balls when filling in for the mayor. Our libidos can image different situations that could drag the story on forever. A testament to your brilliance.
11/8/20, 10:42 PM
> I remember another omission from Book One that was removed on this site. Bowden emerged as the great one and after he evolved Murdock he planted a personal garden. It didn’t make sense for him to be creating competing Great Ones. Unless his seed would create just the Guard class of symbiotes. > Yes. Exactly why I removed it. Way back when I wrote it, I think I had the idea that he was planning to create a Warrior Class, but it just seemed superfluous in Book Two, so I cut it. > When the Sheriff told Snake the new great one would be a host We control, the Sheriff wasn’t talking about Snake and himself he meant himself and his ball residing symbiote. > Absolutely correct. Because of their human relationship, I think the Sheriff just expected the Deputy to submit to him and allow himself to be controlled by the Sheriff. But it turned out the Deputy held all the power (as bottoms always do) and all he had to do was patiently wait his turn. I'm not sure the Sheriff had always intended to make the Deputy a Great One -- you may remember, he'd only promised the Deputy a plant of his own when the time was right. It wasn't until he realized the Kansas Great One had created strategic flaws that I believe he amended his plan and decided to promote the Deputy, believing the Deputy easiest to control.
Anonymous
11/8/20, 9:45 PM
Decent idea, far better writing than most. Consider having them do some drinking, one of the four new guys tells a story about two others being in a game of gay chicken. The winner claims he's never been beaten More drinking, a spiral film, then group induction and suggestions. Darren or another can challenge the champion to a game of gay chicken, take it from there. Agree that talk of Alphas and Betas is off-putting. For now, I wouldn't worry about tightening and editing. Tell the story, get it out there, and do some tightening and editing later. Your writing is already well above-average. You can take some time to continue fleshing out the characters. I don't much like Ian's character right now, which means you've already built him enough to draw a reaction. Build the others as well. You're setting this up to be a slow burn, one of the more difficult genres but easily my favorite. You're writing a story, not a quick masturbation prompt.
11/8/20, 9:36 PM
Watching Snake dump a couple of loads in Deputy would have been hot. When the Sheriff told Snake the new great one would be a host We control, the Sheriff wasn't talking about Snake and himself he meant himself and his ball residing symbiote. I maybe interpreting wrong so unless the great Absman reveals his intentions it will just remain as an itch in our balls.