Recent Comments

9/7/21, 7:45 PM
I was thinking about WHY where the parents not arrested immediately, but okay, this is credible, except how rushed the trial is, but I don't think anyone will complain. Mark and Vincent ended up not meaning a lot , until now. I do enjoy the fact that Cole has separation anxiety. A slight issue I had with this franchise from the get-go was how little the characters seemed affected. This is a slight touche but it helps so much.

9/7/21, 8:37 PM
@BobbyBlobfish Thanks for the comment. it's very helpful.
9/7/21, 3:31 PM
ahhhhh been so long i love it heeheeh looking forwarf how this goes on from here
8/8/21, 1:07 PM
It has been so long....... i hope the updates comes sooner........ i really need to know what happens next and so on...

8/17/21, 5:49 AM
@Hypnobot - sorry for the wait... I been working on trying to finish something for the new site and I haven't finish the next chapter... will soon... please be patient 🙏

9/7/21, 2:50 PM
@Hypnobot – good news, I finally publish next chapter :3
9/7/21, 11:42 AM
Okay, bobby, you can do this, second story! And I have the feeling the writing had a step down? hear instead of here, some i, "hos name", interest in e"... (May I recommend getting a beta reader, at least for now? When I had a lot of issues writing in English, that's what I did) The relationship is more solid this time around, on the other hand. The fact it comes out so fast despite both characters wanting to know each other is a bit weird, but it can be used in plenty of ways. I think the biggest problem here, I didn't comment on it in the last chapters of the emperor and I, is that Marc seems to have done a 180 in term of characterization. He went from apparently genuine friend to self-destructive asshole without much build up. I don't know, it feel like you changed plans about him as you were writing. A lot of people do that, subplots are definitively subject to changes. It just comes off really badly because now it went from side story to part of the overall plot.

9/7/21, 11:47 AM
@BobbyBlobfish Yeah, as I said, this story did not um, turn out good, which is why I kind ended it early. I'm going to circle back to it at a later time, and try to redo it, after I get a good thought process with it. A lot of things were happening at the time, that, this one just slipped away from me. I probably will be posting a new chapter for the new story I'm working on, so, there's hope with that one, hopefully. Thanks again for the comment. I'll use them to help me refix this one.
9/6/21, 7:45 PM
Here I am again with a comment. So. 1) the writing is getting better! We have some incredible things (This chapter, half instead of have, a previous one had a = inside a word), but besides that, it's more fluid, the phrases are more English-sounding. The characters are starting to develop and the reactions are more natural, even if a bit rushed at times. 2) I do enjoy a lot more the main relationship. I still think some things are rushed over (trauma over almost being raped, where? It's a week later! with the first blow job even less.) but the couple is kind of cute. Having some scenes of honeymoon would have been wonderful to give them an identity outside of each other. I can't remember an hobby for either. (but given the fact this story is finished, take that as tips for your next ones). 3) As soon as Ian showed up, I though of Chloe from miraculous. For better and for worst (if you don't follow, she is very controversial in the fandom). Interesting. The side characters seem like they are real people, at least most of them. The ideas are starting to be more unique.

9/6/21, 8:12 PM
@BobbyBlobfish Thanks again for the comment. I like this story in the series and maybe the third that I'm working on more then the second one. I might redo that one in the future. I'll take your comments into account, and use them :)

9/7/21, 9:46 AM
@Jonanator Well, we all our preferences in what we wrote. I remember my first series on GSS, I kind of let it down unfinished, but I came back almost a year later to correct every errors I made. Re-doing the story is something some people do, can be very interesting to see how much your writing style changed. Happy that my comments are helping. They are critical, but I think there is a good story here, or I wouldn't be commenting.

9/7/21, 11:37 AM
@BobbyBlobfish Thanks for that, I really welcome it.
9/7/21, 12:29 AM
Awesome story! Loved the cursing and the pastor's reaction to it. Hope we see him become even more fucking corrupted.
Anonymous
9/6/21, 7:39 AM
you

9/6/21, 10:28 PM
Me!
9/6/21, 8:15 PM
Loving this series so far! Incredibly excited to see more.
9/6/21, 6:36 PM
Haven't been on GCS in a while, and I see there is plenty of stories I have to catch up on, so i will comment only every few chapters. Compared to the first two chapters, I think there is a bit more work on grammar and writing? Might be me, but I definitively I'm less re-reading to understand what I'm seeing. There are still some " missing here and there, and the time tense seems a bit messy at time. But It's mostly the way the phrases are written that sometimes comes at odd. Nothing drastic. I really enjoy the ideas. The best friend who is ready to protect his friend against an emperor, politic intrigues, a side coupe... It just comes out WAY too fast. The main relationship especially is growing too fast for me. Seems more based on sex than feelings for now, and I'm not sure if it's supposed to come out that way. Kai barely seems to be acclimating to being in the palace.

9/6/21, 6:42 PM
@BobbyBlobfish hey, thanks for the comment. Yeah, still fairly new at this, I'm trying to get the hang of it, and put things together well. The comment helps though. It gives me a chance to improve though. I'm going to try and post another chapter to my new story this week, but, I'm right now, a wreck and kinda injured from a family brawl yesterday..... that...and I'm giving a lot of time to me Daddy. He makes me so happy :)
9/6/21, 10:14 AM
Great story. I am loving these small changes to the pastor's personality. The easing on the profanity in the last chapter and the masturbation in this one. Those are small changes for a lot of other people but for this guy those are actually massive changes, and he doesn't really notice it. I love the slow burn in this story. For an outsider it would appear as if nothing major really happened at this first meeting, yet Tanner has already managed to push all of the guys a fair bit. If masturbation is just the first topic I can not wait to see what other sexy or even perverse stuff is gonna seem perfectly normal to these guys once Tanner has explained it to them.