Recent Comments

Kods
11/19/21, 11:50 AM
@Johntheedoe I think I caught that at one point, but now that you said that, it makes it easier to notice. However, I'd say we've been introduced to many characters so quickly that it's hard to keep track of them all. At this point providing a POV Header switch is easier for the readers. That said, I don't think the technique you implemented is a bad one inherently, but would be better suited if the story had a smaller cast, or used with a cast the readership knows intimately well that they can pick up on the different POV with context clues ( I.e. setting, their frame of mind, other charaters their with.) Even then might still trip up people. I think it's usually easier to do this techinque in third person though because all "I"s can run the same.

11/19/21, 1:22 PM
@Kods Agreed. The parts of the story I could follow were really hot, but I found it impossible to keep track of all the characters, and after about the second narrator shift, I just gave up trying to figure out who was talking.

11/20/21, 9:04 PM
@ Kods @Hypnothrill I've edited in some more lines to hopefully make it clearer who the POV switches to. If you guys would be willing to give it another read through and tell me if it's better or not I'd be grateful.
11/16/21, 9:59 PM
This was so fucking great. Best chapter I've read on the site in a good while. A lot really came together and paid off. Thank you for this! If there was one thing I would change, I would have found it really hot if the cock shrinking lasted until the next sex partner. That is to mean, changes would only occur during sex and then remain until Sam was having sex again. This still seems in line with the edit to me, and removes a piece of control. Also, it could later cause someone to see Sam's small cock - putting the idea in their head that it's hot to them, so they would want to keep it small when having sex with him. Still, perfect story. I actually read it yesterday and I'm still on the high of it.

11/18/21, 3:10 AM
Oh wow, thanks! Huge compliment! Huh. I think I like you're interpretation of that edit better than mine! I might figure out a way to make that happen in future installments. Personally, I'm a huge fan of SPH/shrinking (I love Secret Sauna!), but I deliberately kept it a minor element in this story since there's so much going on. @Dreamweavr

11/20/21, 3:37 AM
@Dreamweavr oh God, that would have been so hot! I'm guessing it would have led to an edit like "women don't care about big dicks" or something while he's still trying to get with Melanie (not that she's shown any interest, anyway)
11/20/21, 1:09 AM
I can't wait for Sam and Marc!
11/19/21, 3:17 PM
Oh my god, this was so hot the entire way through! You hit so many of my kink buttons with the cum glazing and the cum inflation (🥵🥵🥵), and you executed the montage perfectly. I don’t think people comprehend the power of a montage to turn an event from being repetitive in literal time to being highly erotic when considering its whole length at once. I thought the romance was sweet, and even though chastity isn’t my kink, you used it to make the whole sense and flow of the story more erotic so I knew something amazing was going to happen when the cage was gone. Great job all around. You’re such a good writer, and I hope this gets lots of clicks despite being a Cupid exclusive!
11/19/21, 2:54 PM
can't wait for more.
11/19/21, 12:43 AM
Absolutely love it. Everything here is so fun and sexy. I love how you build the world so well that your in-universe terms become extremely erotic. You've done an amazing job with developing the relationships for the reader to enjoy. Can't wait for more!

11/19/21, 2:10 AM
Ahhh, thanks for the glowing endorsement! I guess I never thought of it that way—that I could actually instil the readers with the concepts so they found them hot despite them not being real? And now I’m actively thinking about making sure I have that effect, haha. More world building coming soon… @Razz TFs
11/18/21, 6:16 PM
I hope to see another chapter! reminds me of things i would have wanted to wish to happen if i had a magical genie. All the fun safe, weird things I'd want to do. 100% appreciate this story, in that id be the same way... wanting to try out the limits off what his powers could do with my own fantasies. knowing that it's done in a way where I couldn't be hurt in the long run! Hope you write more on this!!

11/18/21, 8:17 PM
@Jojojojojojo Thank you! i feel very similarly and that's my inspiration for writing this couple, haha. I've been putting more of their backstories/shenanigans on gay cupid stories if you want to give them a look! [Here's my most recent](https://www.gaycupidstories.com/series/show/10001328).
Oct 30, 2021
Lohengrin
11/17/21, 8:22 AM
This piece stands on its own merits as a really well written short story quite beyond its gay interest. Very well developed characters and believable plot, even with the fantasy element--and that's hard to do. How come this is not for sale on Kindle? It would be quite competitive with the drivel they generally peddle there, and frankly, it's better than anything I've paid good money for. TTFN, LOHENGRIN

Anonymous
11/18/21, 7:51 PM
@Lohengrin Thanks so much, you're very kind. I hadn't really considered putting this on Amazon for sale, but that's an interesting idea. I generally make them available without charge but if people would be willing to buy them, I'm OK with that. If you're interested, more stories are available @ https://thewritingbearscave.blogspot.com Thank you again and I'm so very glad you liked the story
Oct 30, 2021
Papa Werebear
11/18/21, 7:51 PM
Thanks so much, you're very kind. I hadn't really considered putting this on Amazon for sale, but that's an interesting idea. I generally make them available without charge but if people would be willing to buy them, I'm OK with that. If you're interested, more stories are available @ https://thewritingbearscave.blogspot.com Thank you again and I'm so very glad you liked the story
Anonymous
11/18/21, 11:34 AM
Great start, can't wait for more!

11/18/21, 4:10 PM
Thanks! If you have anything you'd like to see let me