This was really good! I’m excited to see more of the coach

Wonderful! So lovely and sweet, with just that hint of danger.

I'm gonna take a break for today at the end of this one (but bookmarked and tbc). Yeah. In a lot of ways, we're in similar boats. It's not dirty enough to be porn _really_ it's more, "cutesy fanfic which depicts the sex when sex happens, which is not that often." It's very easy to score this series punitively because of the ratings as categorized. If this were an alternate reality where "cutesy" "silly" "playful" were categories, this saga would be hitting 5's like they were going out of business. It's a nicely written work, that is off-brand for GSS (and this is a concept I'm very familiar with :sweat_smile:) So it will always have *that* battle, and it's a battle I can relate to. I would say this ought to at the very least be also released on Cupid, like, immediately. Cupid at least vaguely has a "love-heart-y" looking category that's just begging to be set to 5/5 for a series like this. If not even "romantic" per se, the series is very clearly "lovely in every way, and almost excessively so", whereas here on GSS I'm leaving the 'Mind Control' category blank and scoring as high as I can in other places, but finding scant excuses to give more then 3's, 3.5's, 4's (for lack of suitability). The series is bizarre and lovely and charming despite what is justifiably mediocre ratings. Mediocre rating as a consequence to the situation it exists in, not because it is in _actuality_ a mediocre piece of work (I hope that is very clear to you, because if it's not, it should be); far from it, and kudos to you for working through it in context of how it was always going to be received here, and delivering something *this* good anyways. How... delightful (so far anyways), and I didn't even need to know Pokémon stuff to enjoy it; I can just 'Are ya Winning Son' Dad my way through the Poké-jargon, like one does with Star Trek when the warp drive manifolds fails to realign. Bookmark booked, tbc.

A good escalation of events. will keep reading.

Not a bad opening chapter, mate. I don't normally read fanfiction, so I won't be ruthlessly critiquing this! However, I am happy to see enough of your own creative voice in it; it doesn't seem to _just_ be 'Pokémon + fucking'. So far, this reads like something that should also be published on Cupid.

This was such a delightful romp. The contrast between perspectives is so incredible. There's a callousness to Coins and a frivolousness that the rest of society would see so it makes perfect sense. But how fascinating to see the assumed intentions and confirmation bias. Nova sees the party as domineering, degrading, and solely about ownership and sex for their own pleasure. But the reality was about friendliness, bonding, and welcoming and giving Jasper pleasure as well. Exactly the same acts and setup but two different views of it based on the cultures and social situations. This sort of thing is so realistic, and really highlights there is a culture underlying all of this and not just a flimsy excuse for an orgy (not that there's anything wrong with that, but this makes it a part of the world). I was really invested in Callix and Rhys reconciling and the understandable scuffle with Jasper made my stomach drop. Very well played. Not a smooth ride but they did get to talk after when everyone was cooler-headed. Some great dynamics here, too. The various ways favours were granted allowing for everyone at the party to enjoy it. I also really enjoy the casual and natural way sex is understood for Coins. Literally getting a blowjob while having a conversation to calm down from a disagreement. Freely enjoying one another in plain sight of everyone else and it being entirely unremarkable. Incorporating the maze to allow for hiding and favours is such a neat game. And making it a copy of the streets to give Jasper the advantage was pure genius. Both from Aris and Rhys's point of view and also as writers. What a cool element. And he really showed them he was cunning and if they caught him for a favour it was because the god Aphrodite wanted to extend such generosity. Quite a lot of dynamics being played with in this chapter. Including Jasper being a top and even a dom on occasion. He's a versatile little switch. And it seems like Rhys is pleased by this also. So much good stuff, I don't want to go on too long. See you next chapter.

Hey. @S.Q. Neemie. Do you know when we can expect the next chapter? Dying to know what Will happen next.

Great job overall. Excellent transition to the new character and introduction of the biker club characters. This is shaping up to be a sexy saga,

Jasper is really taking to his pet training. I loved the emersion of his submissive side even if it caught Rhys's attention. That said, being so desperate to cum can have that effect so that's a nice little head-canon for Rhys to not be too suspicious. I absolutely LOVE the Golden condition. What an awesome way to introduce some vulnerability to some of the Coins and turn a bit of that submissive desperate need to cum, and loss of control back on its head for them. Just as a way to not be in control of yourself and fall into base instinct of needing to fuck and cum is very hot to me. Even more so when contrasted against their rigid control and protocol normally. The further to fall, I suppose. You are both amazing authors and more impressive is collaboratively writing this. Writing with someone else is even trickier. The voices are distinctive for characters but in no way reveal who is writing whom. I have my theories on the Golden Lattice Ceremony being some sort of debutant-esque event to celebrate and present a new pet, ending in everyone in attendence using or teasing or pleasing the guest of honour in an orgy or something like that. Excited to see how Jasper takes that if I'm right. His programming by Aris is really jumping ahead after using his rig. I fear if he learns of it he may question Jasper's true heart (that I think exists) and whether his affection is just the suggestions and not based on his original feelings. Damn you both tugging at my heart strings.

Holy fuck! That was a great chapter! I love your lore building. Thank you.