Recent Comments

6/17/22, 2:02 PM
This is so hot. I can't wait to see what happens next to Stanley. I wonder if Marcus actually likes him, or if he's just in the market for an obedient slave. Can't wait to see what he does to him next, and what kinks could be involved later in the story. I mean, I still feel bad for Stanley. But eventually he'll be all for it I assume
6/16/22, 4:21 PM
For Tony's "buyer" it would be nice if it was shown he was not a monster. In the first chapter Marcus seems like a semi-decent guy with a fetish and now he's a psychopath.

6/16/22, 4:46 PM
@Frapsity I honestly see that. I cover both Marcus’s kind of ruthless nature and the reasons he acts that way sometimes down the line

6/16/22, 10:08 PM
@PuffDeamon I'm glad it's explained later! It seems like it goes beyond ruthless. He watched Tony involuntarily suffocating himself to near death without any emotions. A lack of empathy is one of the landmark symptoms of a sociopath/psychopath. I missed the line where Marcus feels sorry for Tony but that doesn't come across at all. That line seems like something you throw in so the narrator doesn't get added to a list of deviants the government monitors. This is what I meant by his buyer as not a monster: Scenario 1- where the buyer is a villain worthy of an Isekai anime or a Baron Harkonen analog. Scenario 2- he is a rich guy that gets off on "buying" slaves but treats them fairly. If scenario one is absolutely necessary for the story, then Marcus's empathy needs to be more clear. Like Tony was a test subject and needs to disappear, but he parlays with the buyer for slightly fairer treatment. In order to get Tony's "consent", coerced it may be, he takes care of a family member or dear friend of Tony's. If not even these are possible it should be explained why in some relatable way. Just my 2 cents for improving relatability and story immersion.

6/17/22, 8:16 AM
@Frapsity Thabk you, I love feedback and you make some excellent points. Reading it back i can see i didn’t flesh out Marcuss feelings on what he's doingit, mostly becaue i have such a clear view as to why, but his background doesn't get revealed until later, so i forgot the readers point of view would be that hes a monster. Spectator sees more of the game as they say.
6/17/22, 6:18 AM
Perhaps this was way too intense for me, I feel a little traumatized, but I suppose it means you narrated it exceptionally well, I read horror novels for fun but this scared me to a fundamental level, not sure why. I must congratulate you because it probably means this story is super good for the people who get off this. (Not trying to be disrespectful, but I felt I had to comment this)

6/17/22, 8:10 AM
@Kristalmaster Thank you for your feedback. I wanted to show Marcus's dark side, but i admit he takes it too far. I've gone through sh*t so i tend to lean dark. Next few chapters lightens up a bit i swear XD
6/17/22, 5:49 AM
I have to admit I was terrified reading this
6/16/22, 6:54 PM
I am loving this story so far! Excellent concept, great characters and a really fun read. My one deal breaker will be that I NEED Marc and Sam to end up together. I'm ok waiting til close to the end, but I'm so in love with the sweet Marc now that I really need to see him end up happy!

6/16/22, 9:54 PM
@MicroModal Thanks! I have a lot of Marc planned for the next chapter.
Anonymous
6/16/22, 9:32 PM
0_0 thats intense, fun premise tho, keep it up!
6/16/22, 2:48 PM
Will he keep Stanley for himself?

6/16/22, 4:47 PM
@Jonanator Thats chapter 3 XD
D1p
6/16/22, 11:17 AM
Can't wait to read more! A very good set-up
6/15/22, 10:43 PM
SUPER excited to read more of this! 🤩
Anonymous
6/15/22, 10:20 PM
i hope this continues

6/15/22, 10:40 PM
@i have 9 chapters written i just need to clean them up a bit first